And it's important that we do talk about it. There's a tremendous amount of stigma associated with mental illness. It's hard for people to understand. A lot of times it doesn't make sense. Sometimes people think they caused it. But what I've learned in my experience is that mental illness is a lot more complicated than that.
There's not a switch that we can just turn on and off at will. I can't just decide to feel happy when I'm depressed. I can't force myself to relax if I'm anxious. And it's hard to quiet the voice that tells you to eat everything in the cupboard. That doesn't mean that I'm completely powerless. There are things I can do to feel happier or less anxious. There are ways to stop myself from eating past the point of fullness. The first step is to acknowledge there is a problem. It's hard to do that when you feel very much alone.
And that's why I've talked about my experiences. When you start talking, you start to realize that you are not alone. There are many, many others who are experiencing what your experiencing. And that's a powerful thing. It's one thing to feel like a dysfunctional freak on your own. It's another thing to have other dysfunctional freaks to talk to about your issues.
And this blog has helped. I've blogged when I'm going through a bad depressive episode and getting my thoughts down is actually cathartic. It's also great to have something to go back to when I experience depression in the future.
For the record, I say "when" only because this is not my first experience with depression. While I certainly would rather not experience it again, I know how life works. The odds are that this won't be my last trip to the depression rodeo. But knowing I survived this trip gives me hope that I can and will survive future ones.
