I don't think Jon was a Kanye fan so he'd probably object to the inclusion of this song on the playlist. Before we started dating, Jon posted a NYE meme about resolving to be an asshole for another year. When we started dating he'd tease me about his age and I'd jokingly call him an asshole. For the most part Jon was a sweet guy. But he also had a nasty side. He's not unique in that regard. We all can be assholes sometimes. Sometimes I think he purposely tried to push me away. Not because he wanted me to leave. He didn't. But he expected I would and was surprised when I didn't. Up until the end he told me he never expected I'd stick by him. That I deserved better. Maybe a smarter girl would have run. I don't regret my decisions. I upset his homeostasis. When I didn't run, he did. I wish he hadn't. At least, but the way that he did. I'd rather we be apart and he'd be alive. I may not regret my choices but I do regret his. Sometimes life feels like a battle. But there is beauty to be found in the fight. #asongforjon #mentalhealth #depression #suicideprevention #love #relationships #grief #grieving #loss #survivor #musicproject #playlist #spotify #kanyewest #runaway #mybeautifuldarktwistedfantasy

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