Maintaining motivation with depression

Let's just get one thing out, right off the bat. I have no answers on how to do this. This is my current struggle. And it has me feeling pretty down. 

I've talked a little about my weight loss journey. Between December 2013 and June 2015, I lost 106 pounds. I did it through a combination of diet and exercise. "The right way" is how people respond when I tell them about my journey. People tell you a lot of things when you lose weight. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it feels bad. I've been told I can dress better now. I've had guys come out of the woodwork and express interest in me. I've gotten the "I didn't recognize you!" so very many times. My favorite is, "you can find a man now!" It kind of fucked with my head. 

When you're the fat girl, and also an extrovert, you know you can't lead with your looks. For me, it was learning as much as possible, developing a wide variety of interests, and having an excellent sense of humor. If I could wow people with my personality, it wouldn't matter that I was fat. This is both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because you don't lose your personality just because you lose weight (I have BEAUTY and brains). It's a curse because you don't lose your personality just because you lose weight (I have beauty and BRAINS). You start to appreciate how shallow people really are. You start to question everyone's motivations. This especially sucks because you already don't trust people. Now you have extra reasons not to trust them. 

A significant weight loss is an extremely emotional journey. And it's for all the reasons I mention above. And it isn't that I didn't expect the response I got. It's that I wasn't prepared for how I was going to feel about those reactions. And I basically felt like these people thought I was garbage before. Did I dress so terribly? Was I not worthy of love? Was I less of a human when there was more of me?

And so, this has been a pretty significant part of my depression battle. I haven't quite come to grips with the outcome of my weightloss journey and I've struggled with the fact that key parts of that journey have left or are leaving. This month, between dealing with depression, working two jobs, starting the holidays, and facing a transition, my diet and the gym have kind of gone out the window. At first I was okay with it: I'll get my mind right and then get back into it. But as November ends I'm regretting the choices I've made. I don't feel good. I don't look good. I lack energy. And my motivation is gone. 

I'm trying to be positive. I had it before and I can get it again. But that doesn't really help in the now.