Wellbutrin - 1 week in and setting goals

So it's been one week since I started taking the Wellbutrin. It's still early but I have been feeling better. It may be a terrible cliché, but I do feel like the clouds have been lifted. I've felt more focused. On Wednesday I was extremely tired and a little cranky. A week earlier that kind of day would have left me wanting to cry. But I made it through the day and even got a workout in. 

Now, I'm not trying to portray myself as being miraculously cured after one week of antidepressants. Depression is a lot more complex than that. I have a lot of things to work through and it's going to be some time before I feel truly at ease. But for the first time in a while, I truly feel like I'm going to get through this. Life doesn't feel quite so daunting.

In June, after a year and a half of work, I lost more than 100 pounds. There's a lot of emotional baggage that comes with that. I tried to set a smaller weight loss goal and, as everything else came crashing down around me, it became harder and harder to reach that goal. I started binge eating. My weight increased, I stressed out more. 

It didn't help that two people who helped guide me on my weight loss journey were moving on to other things. My doctor moved to California. My trainer announced he was moving to California as well. And while I wish the best for both of them, it was hard not to feel a little abandoned. The worse my depression got, the worse I was about maintaining my diet. There was a week where I was so physically and emotionally exhausted I didn't make it to the gym at all. 

But I'm blessed with a truly amazing and inspiring support network. I told my friends I had been interested in competing in powerlifting, And they thought it was a good idea. In the span of a few days I went from lost and unsure of my next steps on my fitness journey, including who I would train with, to having a goal, a new trainer with the experience to hopefully help get me there. I'm aiming to be able to deadlift 300 pounds and compete in the spring. I haven't felt this excited about anything in quite some time and I'm especially happy to have a fitness goal that won't solely focus on weight loss.