Before I decided to be open with my struggle, I read a pretty good Buzzfeed article about the things you hear from people when you tell them you suffer with depression. I related to all of it.*
One of the things they didn't say in the article, but that I've been told more than once, is "Cheer up!" My first instinct is to scream at the person. But 1) I'm usually in public and not too keen on making a scene; 2) I know it's meant to be supportive. People generally want you to be happy. They don't enjoy seeing someone suffer. And a lot of times people don't understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting. Hell, it took a pretty dark moment for me to realize just how badly I was doing. How can I expect you to know?
I don't know exactly what you could say instead that would be better. And I suppose that is the problem. We don't know what to say. But "cheer up" is about as unhelpful as it gets. Depression is not a switch we can turn on and off. My usual response has been, "I wish I could." And it's true. I wish I could just flip a switch up and feel happy and focused and energetic. But it's not that simple. And every day is different. I have days where I get up, slap my sneakers on, and run three miles. I also have days where I don't want to get out of bed. It's kind of a crap shoot. If I had my way, I would have more of the former and a lot less of the latter. Unfortunately, that isn't the case.
The article has a list of things that you can say to someone with depression and it's also pretty great. I would recommend checking it out.
Buzzfeed: The 23 Things You Shouldn't Say to Someone with Depression
*Yes, I know people loathe the Buzzfeed listicle. I still found this one to be very helpful.
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