It wasn't just one thing that caused my depression. There were many things. And I've battled it before. I've been through scarier situations. I lost my dad. I braved a cancer scare. And still, I don't recall feeling as helpless as I do now.
Depression is a thing we don't really talk about. It makes us uncomfortable. We don't want to face it. We don't know how. You express your sadness and you are greeted with a million platitudes, all meant to make you feel better. But they rarely do.
I am taking steps to regain control. I started seeing a therapist two weeks ago. On Wednesday, after some thought, I started taking antidepressants. There's a chance the medication won't work but I'm hopeful that it will. I'm hopeful I will feel like myself again.
Today I decided to do what people don't like to do: talk about my depression and anxiety and my attempt to work through them. Maybe it will help me deal with my feelings. Maybe it will help someone else feel like they aren't alone. But I know one thing. The more we talk about it, the better off we'll all be.
Just FYI, from my experience, meds can take a while (2-3 weeks) to start working. And that's if the med is the right one for you. Give it time. Don't expect to "feel better" overnight. It is a process
ReplyDeleteDeanna, You are so brave for "taking the chance" to speak up about your depression. So many individuals suffer in silence. You know that you have so many family and friends who love and care about you. I'm sure that your therapist will tell you that journaling can be a cathartic experience...as it can help you examine thoughts and feelings that you may not have otherwise recognized. As Brendan M mentioned many of the anti-depressant medications do take several weeks to take full effect, so give them time. Know that you are doing ALL of the right things and most importantly your story WILL help others get past the stigma that you correctly identified as an unfortunate companion of mental illness. You have accomplished so much over the past year with your drive to get back into shape...inspiring many others to do the same through watching you as you slimmed and toned. I wish you much happiness and inner peace as you take this journey and hope that you find it sooner than later.
ReplyDeleteSue