I've been having this weird feeling lately where things don't seem real. Like, I think about Jon (and I think about him every day) and nothing that happened seems possible. It doesn't seem possible that he ended his life. He couldn't have possibly done all that. I guess that's denial. But I know it happened. It's like a battle in my brain between the part that knows it happened and the part that doesn't want to accept it. Maybe it's because I never saw his body. Decisions were made and I wasn't a part of them. And maybe that's a good thing. It's probably best that I didn't see him in that final state. But it also adds to the feeling that it isn't real. One moment he's alive and kissing me on the forehead and then he just kind of vanished. Not literally. Some poor person had to deal with the consequences. Clean things up. Jon spared me from that. He had a stranger do it instead. But if I didn't see it, did it really happen? I know it did. I know. And yet... #asongforjon #mentalhealth #depression #suicideprevention #love #relationships #grief #grieving #loss #denial #acceptance #survivor #musicproject #playlist #spotify #dustyspringfield #dontforgetaboutme

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